Tuesday, October 19, 2010


by Jayde

What I'm about to write is taking a lot out of me. Thinking about it, feeling the emotions well up, holding back the pain and tears I feel... I would love to just push it away into the back of my mind and forget about it, but I need to face it. For myself, and for all those in the same position as me.

When it comes to gay rights, I am very sensitive to the subject. Those who support equality for all human beings are like family to me. Those who oppose, I can't help but feel they are ignorant and unlearned. Then there are those who are completely against the mere existence of LGBT individuals living in the world... those who think they will be condemned in hell... those who wish them all to die, to kill themselves... these people hurt me the most.

I follow many LGBT blogs. On tumblr, you can "ask" people things and I came across this:
There was a lot more to this as well... After reading this, I couldn't do anything but cry. Over and over again. I went into a mode of depression.
How can people have so much hate for other living, breathing, human beings? How is it possible that so much hate can be developed against someone's love for another person? How can ANYONE wish so much harm on someone else who did absolutely nothing wrong but live their life?

I cannot fathom that there is even ONE person that hopes for something like this. Let alone thousands or even millions! And it dawned on me... how difficult it really is to truly be yourself in this world. Especially if you are gay, lesbian, bi or transexual. I am so lucky though, to live in California where it is more accepted than... say anywhere down South or more East. But I still worry.

What do I worry about? What people will think of me. If my family will accept me when I come out to them. If I get married to my girlfriend, will they even go to my wedding? Will my mom be disappointed? Do people look at my girlfriend and I and scoff at us? Do they wish us to be dead as well? Will people harm her for being with me? Just because I am a girl?

When I am with my girlfriend, all I see in front of me is a person that I am in love with. All I see when I see pictures of us is a happy couple. A couple with a beautiful relationship. Why can't people just simply see that in us? Instead, they see two girls together.

Where others see two girls, two guys, or
two people who's gender is hard to decipher...
I see LOVE.

And in the end, isn't that all that matters? I guess at this time in our world it's not. But someday... I am hopeful that it will be.

And the fight continues...


  1. uhh WTF. People are still so cruel.

  2. This is so sad.. but it also made my day. To know that there are people like you out there in the world to stand for equality, really makes the LGBT get a glimpse of hope, happiness, and find the strength to be truely proud of who they are.

    Thank you,, really.

  3. I'm so proud of you for posting this! I feel like crying! It really doesn't make any sense for people to just hate someone so much. The human race can be sooo cruel!!!!

    I just want to say this, I appreciate anyone & everyone who stands for equality. I love you with all my heart!

  4. Dear Jayde,
    I think you're so strong for posting this. I must tell you I admire you, and even though we haven't really talked, you seem like such an amazing person. =] I can't say that I know what you're going through, but being so close to my (out and proud!) cousin, I know it's really hard, and you'll ALWAYS have an ally in me.
    <3 your fellow female gone rogue,

  5. when it comes to individuality whether it be sexual, personal, or spiritual , we all have to learn how to accept people for who they are. granted the majority of Americans don't agree with things like homosexuality and being a Muslim(which i am) . but the beauty of life is how we seem to make it through the hardest times and come out victorious
    stay strong and stay smiling :)